Canucks 4th Line: Characters Welcome. Goofs Need Not Apply

Straddling the line between "do gooding hero" and "irredeemable jackass" you will find a group of players in the NHL who have the ability to get noticed and make an impact, whether it be on the scoreboard, on the ice or in the dressing room. They are commonly third or fourth line guys who form the backbone of what a team stands for. These impact players, more often than not, fall into two categories:

1) Characters

2) Goofs

Three Little Words: "It's Been Worse"

(Gah! Higgins once again uses his speed and tenacity to hijack my opening)

After last night's "ironic scrimmage" by the Canucks (I like to imagine they thought they were above such trivial things as winning hockey games for a night), the left coast is once again flipping out over a bad effort. Not saying the Canucks didn't look bad, they did. Aside from Dan Hamhuis getting his first of the season and Maxim Lapierre trying to "Royal Rumble" Cal Clutterbuck into the Canucks bench (not to mention Clutterbuck's all class accidental cheap shot to the refs face as he was trying to break it up) there were no "highlights" to speak of. Except this. I can't stress enough that this happened.



The "Shanny Signal" is shining bright in the sky, Clutterbuck's in trouble.

(Shanahan: "Not tolerating bullcrap" since 2011)


Everywhere I turn I see brief, snippy three word opinions of the game, the team and the season:

"Sky is falling".

"Where's the defence?"

"Bad in October".

"Trade everyone anywhere".

There is a three word mantra I use at times like this (you know, after one bad loss and two big wins) to stay positive and put things in perspective:

It's been worse.

(Oh hello there, worst thing ever. I didn't hear you come in)

There was a time where the Canucks were populated by a bunch of overpaid babies who couldn't even make the playoffs, let alone get to within 1 game (and 5 goals) of the Stanley Cup. I have followed this team through light and dark and there is no time I can remember darker than when that "chip eating dream killer" infiltrated our team and ripped it apart from the inside during the late '90s.

(As opposed to the "soul eating dream killer")

You remember a little over a decade ago we had a team captained by Mark Messier and coached by Mike Keenan? Those were tough days to be a Canuck fan. I think deep down we all secretly hated that team. I made a vow in 1994 that I would never actively cheer for anything Mark Messier did. Thankfully, he did nothing here worth cheering about so I held up my end of it.

People are lighting their torches and getting ready to storm Gillis' office over a 6-6-1 start? C'mon folks this is not a 25 game season. There is a lot of hockey left to play and with all the pieces we have in place, even with the occasional loss I still find plenty to cheer about. If we wind up with a record lower than the '98 squad's 23-47-12 debacle, by all means I will abandon my "It's been worse" mantra.

("Potvin was here" would definitely make me appreciate the things I have now)

The Canucks are coming off the best year in team history, they have the vast majority of those pieces back and I can look up and down the roster and say that win or lose, this is a team to cheer for. Things will come together, we were never going to run the table and go 81-0-1 (got to be a little realistic, there would be a tie in there somewhere) so if they drop 10 straight, and 8 of those games are against Columbus, then maybe I will start to freak out a little. Until then, just keep reminding yourself:

It's been worse.

Thanks for Reading

- jB

I am motioning to change the phrase "like white on rice" to "like j.Bowman on twitter". I have a special place in my heart for doomed causes. (@jbowmancouver)

Like the post? Like me as a person? Like cupcakes? Head back to the Province's "Replace The KB" page HERE and give a thumbs up if you feel so enclined. If not, I'm sure I'll get over it... eventually.

#ReplaceTheKB   #voteBow4Blog

Top 5 Favourite Modern Canucks Moments

It is a basic, controlled, post premise. Do not get used to that.

I've been sitting here for awhile thinking about what I want my first post for this contest to be. Should I write about the Booth trade? Nope. Roughly 400 Vancouver sports journalists already beat me to that. How about I write about Kesler's naked picture? Nope. The less said about that the better ( There are muscles where there shouldn't be muscles. I swear he has an alien chestbuster running around inside his thigh muscle. Like in that movie..."Alien"). I'm not gonna post the picture, but he should know he is on "Stage 3 Ripley Watch".

(If he starts convulsing, she will do what she must to keep us safe)

Intro to j.Bowman Can't Sleep: Top 6 Posts

"Who the hell is j.Bowman, and why is he a finalist to replace the Kurtenbloggers?" - Everyone

Welcome new readers. I swear the blog is usually tidier than this. I uhh, just had some people over late last night and I didn't have time to clean. Care for a drink? No? Okay we will get straight down to the business at hand.

(Wait! Hold on, how did this get in here? Oh, right. I put it here)

In case you were wondering, my name is j.Bowman and I am the owner, operator, janitor and designated hitter for j.Bowman Can't Sleep. If you want to know more about me (like some quick facts) you can click on the "about me" tab at the top of the page. If you're like me (god help you), and are too lazy to click that tab all the way up there, I will give you a brief rundown on who I am, what I'm about, and whether or not I'm allergic to anything (spoiler alert: I am. "Non-awesomeness".)

I am a 26 year old from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. I enjoy singing, dancing and Chinese woks on the beach. In all seriousness (don't expect to read those 3 words here that often) I love many things, among them movies, sports and... umm...what do girls like these days? Yeah, whatever it is, I like that too. I started writing this blog back in April of 2010 and over the last year and a half have seen readership increase from 0 (even I didn't read it back in the early days) to a sizable amount of regular readers (whom I refer to as "Monpeeps", cause I like to sprinkle a little French here and there in my speech)

One thing I am very passionate about is the Vancouver Canucks hockey team. There are Trevor Linden references all over this blog and last year, even with readership expanding to places that don't care about the Canucks (4th World countries as far as I'm concerned), I started writing posts about the team. I write about whatever is on my mind, and being a fan of the team means that, well, they are at the forefront more often than not. Sorry to my readers in South Africa, you'll just have to deal with that.

If you are reading this, you must know that I am one of the finalists for The Province Newspaper's contest to replace the Kurtenbloggers (either that or you google searched "Pasty Idiot" and I came up after Conan O'Brien). I write about a great many things, the Canucks just happen to be one of them. To give you a sample of what I'm about and what my writing style is like, here are a few of my top 6 posts that aren't Canucks centric:

(Warning: These are pretty raw so there might be some punctuation errors in there. Oh, also there is quite a bit of swearing. I write a lot cleaner now, just know that some of these posts feature cussin')

"A Funny Thing Happened at 35,000 ft"

"My 6 Point Plan To Sit At The Grownup Table This Christmas"

"Blog Off 2011: The Buffet System is Broken, People!"

"Sidney Crosby Bowman: Year One"

"Mall of Duty: Shopping Warfare"

"Irrational Fear of the Month: November 2010 - The Ocean"

There you have it, folks. If you no longer think I should get the job (or any job for that matter) I completely understand. There might have been flourishes of Canucks content in there, but if you want to read any of my recent Canucks posts (which are clean by the way. No cussin') links to the posts I wrote during the selection process can be viewed by clicking below. Just so you know what you are getting into if you choose to #VoteBow4Blog

Getting to Know Your 2011/2012 Vancouver Canucks

"The Gameover" Canucks vs. Rangers recap

Cody Hodgson & Liev Schreiber: Two Journeys?

"Weise Side Story" Canucks vs. Predators recap

"Young Guns II" Canucks vs. Oilers recap

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter (@jbowmancouver) or go on over to the j.Bowman Can't Sleep Facebook page and click LIKE (the majority of the cool kids are doing it) and I thank you in advance for your support over the next few weeks. I'm up against some awesome talent with legions of followers, so if you love scrappy underdogs, I'm your man. I'm like "Rudy", only taller.

Thanks for Reading

- jB

"Young Guns II" - Canucks vs. Oilers Recap

The first true sequel of the 2011/2012 Vancouver Canucks season is now in the books, and there aren't a bevy of highlights. (someone bet me $4 I couldn't work "bevy" into my opening statement. I got double toonies comin' my way!)

The Canucks got it on with the Oilers for the second time this season in Edmonton on Tuesday night, and there were some definite holes in the plot. The first time they met, rookie sensation Ryan Nugent-Hopkins got his first career hat trick and he scored all 3 Oiler goals that night. Luckily the Canucks netted 4 goals and spoiled the party with a 4-3 win. Let's all pretend then that the Canucks had only one thing on their agenda for Tuesday nights game:

Stop Ryan Nugent-Hopkins from scoring a goal.

(aka "Operation: Jeez, c'mon guys! Stop him!")

Thank You, Monpeeps!

"The first thing you should do is thank votre peeps" - A special someone's solid suggestion.

Yes folks, the news is in, and it is good. After narrowing down close to 90 submissions, The Vancouver Province has chosen the bloggers who will compete to replace longtime favourites The Kurtenbloggers as their beat writers for the Vancouver Canucks NHL hockey team. On the list? "The Sleepless Knight" himself, j.Bowman.

"The Gameover" - Canucks vs. Rangers

Ugh....w-what? What happened?

Those are almost always the first words someone with a hangover says. You wake up in a daze, head pounding as you quickly try and recap something that seemed really important last night. The next words you say define the kind of night you had.

"...Why am I in jail?" = Bad night.
"...*Sniff* who is making me breakfast in bed?" = Good night.
"...Who is making me breakfast in bed... in jail?...*sniff*" = To be determined.

But every so often I wake up feeling groggy and confused and my next words are:

"....Oh. right. Canucks game."