j.Bowman Can't Sleep: 12 Days of Christmas Movies

Spoiler Alert.

"12 Days of Christmas Movies" continues with the Day 3 selection. This is a relatively new one, as it was released last year and might not be known to a lot of people. It is a Christmas special for (in my opinion) one of, if not the, funniest show on TV. Ladies, Gentleman, and the good people of Denmark, Day 3's movie is brought to you by the ghosts of Christmas selfishness, vanity and stupidity.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: A Very Sunny Christmas.

The plot according the j.Bowman...

For those unfamiliar with the show, it follows a group of friends (and Danny Devito) and their misadventures in Philadelphia. Charlie, Mac and siblings Dennis and Deandra all own a bar and basically every single one of them is a terrible person. I would describe this show as "Seinfeld without limits" and if you don't watch it. Start watching it. One thing that spun out from the show was the character "Green Man"

(As advertised)

This caught on in many ways, but Vancouver hockey fans, and opposing players in the penalty box, know the green man legacy continued from there.

(14:59 fellas)

There is little more I can say to describe the premise of the show. All I can say is that it defintely warrants at least a viewing. The Christmas special has the following plotlines:

- Charlie finds out his mother was a prostitute who catered to "Santa's" on Christmas morning

- Mac discovers unbeknowst to him his family Xmas tradition was stealing presents

- Dennis & Deandra try to teach their father Frank the true meaning of Christmas: Presents

Like I said, these characters have no redeeming quality whatsoever. They are truly awful people and that's what makes the show great, among other things.

(Dayman. Fighter of the Nightman. Champion of the Sun. Master of Karate & Friendship for everyone)

What solidifies it's status as a Christmas movie?

Take your pick. This special is wall to wall packed with Christmas stuff. Whether it be a horribly botched attempt at cheering up someone with Christmas Carols or crashing an office Christmas party and "sewing someone into the couch", there are tons of things to pick from.

(Awesome)

I would have to say though, the main thing about this that puts it over the top in terms of Christmas content has to be Frank's hallucination sequence which took on a familiar style.

(And also got ridiculously violent)

Key Christmas Moment

Charlie deals with his repressed childhood anger about his mother whoring out to a series of Santas in the worst way possible.

(The show if definitely not for everyone)

Key Christmas Quote

Mac: The only way that we are gonna get back the Christmas spirit, is if we get back to the basics: We're gonna throw rocks at trains.

Favorite non-Christmas Quote

(It technically is still a Christmas quote, but I don't care. It makes me laugh)

Mac: You're telling me that on Christmas morning, you and your mother would not go to your neighbor's house and take their presents?

Charlie: No! No one does that!

Mac: Well, my dad told me that that was the tradition.

Charlie: Mac, your dad is a thief and a murderer who eats people. So, he's not really trustworthy.

Xmas Game Ball Goes To.....

Although they all bring it at different moments, especially in this scene, I've gotta give it to Deandra Reynolds (Sweet Dee). Anyone who angrily shouts at someone "We're just trying to bring you the Christmas spirit, dickhole!" deserves it.

Most Hated Character?

Frank's ex business partner Eugene (who apparently he screwed over quite badly).Sweet Dee said it best when she told him he was "An awesome disappointment".

(He is also a Jeffrey Lebowski, but not the cool one)

The movie wouldn't have happened if...

The series aired on FOX instead of FX. It is a hilarious show with very dark humor and excellent performances from a brilliant cast of relatively unknowns (and Danny Devito). With praise like that, clearly FOX would've cancelled it after the first episode. Because they are morons. Exibit A:

(hear that FOX? Thats the sound of the ball you dropped)

So there is Day 3 in the books, an unconventional choice, but if you expected to see nothing but Christmas standards on this list, you must have me confused with everyone else in the world. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go throw rocks at trains. Merry Christmas!