Friday, November 4, 2011

Flames Jersey Logos - Dibs on Canada?

Where do you get off, Calgary Flames jerseys?!

To be perfectly honest, I have never liked them. There has always been something irritating about the Calgary Flames sweaters throughout the ages. Maybe it's because I was conditioned to hate them at a young age? Perhaps in a past life I was crushed by the engulfed "C" of a "Costco" sign during a fire? Who knows? All I'm certain of is that I have been irked by those jerseys almost more than any other throughout my history of hockey fandom.

(Doesn't count)

(Doesn't count)

(Doesn't count)

(Doesn't count)

See, all those up there don't count because I don't consider them real jerseys. They are temporary travesties and the world is better off having forgotten they even existed... which makes me feel pretty guilty for posting them right now. Oh well, what's done is done.

The modern Calgary Flames jersey has balls. And not in a cool stuntman kind of way. It's more of a "how dare you?" kind of way.

The design has some pretty presumptuous choices that made it onto the jersey and after watching the game the other night, I've seen enough.

Where do you get off having the Canadian flag (and to a lesser extent that Alberta one) as your shoulder logos?!

(Those do not belong to you!)

Edmonton fans, I'm not going to go to bat for you. Handle your business. You are also an Alberta team (whose primary color is blue) and you are just gonna stand around and let Calgary claim that flag and declare themselves Alberta's team? I guess I was right about you Edmonton. Pity.

I'm not going to sit by and let the Flames just co-opt the Canadian flag as their own. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to personally rip it off of all of their jerseys, and the rest of Canada doesn't seem to be lending it's support so I'm just gonna kick things up a notch and put a couple eggs in the Canucks basket.

I've made a couple changes to the jersey, following the guidelines the Flames have set of "celebrating their heritage"...

On the right shoulder, Earth.

On the left shoulder, the Milky Way Galaxy.

(Looking sharp boys!)

If the Canucks strolled onto the ice in those, people would have a fit (by the way, that is the only way you can move when you are rocking the milky way on your shoulders. You can only "stroll"). We could pull the same crap under the guise of "celebrating our heritage" but we don't cause we have more class than that (also, those jerseys would look really stupid).

So why does nobody get up on Calgary for claiming the Canadian flag and the Alberta flag? Imagine if the Florida Panthers just decided to claim the American flag and... uhh... an orange as their shoulder logos. The Yanks wouldn't stand for that and neither should we.

(Any Florida Panthers reference shall be met with a John Vanbiesbrouck pic)

Calgary, you can pick whatever else you want for your shoulder logos, just not the flag of the entire country. I will even make it easy for you and design your new jerseys, free of charge. Your logo can stay as is, but your shoulder logos will be changed to better reflect your actual heritage.

So I've now included a cartoon cow and former WWF Champion Bret "The Hitman" Hart.

Calgary, you are welcome.

Thanks for Reading

- jB

Enjoy the post? Head back to the Province's page HERE and give 'er a thumbs up. I'm trying to get them to put up a third "peace sign" option, but I doubt they will listen.

#ReplacetheKB   #voteBow4Blog


  1. Jordan Bowman, you neglect to mention that team in the East that went as far as to name themselves after our country's national emblem.

    How could you?

  2. Hmmm, I'm not sure if we in Vancouver should be complaining about others using the flag after naming our team the "Canucks". Of course that still doesn't beat the New York "Americans" and Montreal "Canadiens" (of course that is french for Canadians, so maybe that is OK).

  3. Good points made by the two posters above. However, this post is still awesome cuz he made fun of Calgary (and Edmonton) and that's what's most important here :D

  4. As much as the Leafs thing bothers me, Montreal and Toronto were original six and got into a "dibs on canada" arms race. Their legacies are too deep to change now. It was a different time then and for all they knew, they might be the only Canadian team left standing.

    "Canuck" being a slang word, is totally okay. I have no problem with the Yankees. Slang term < Using the countries symbol as your own on the "offensive dibs calling" scale (totally a real scale by the way)