With the dream of winning their first championship in their 40 year history in jeopardy, I reflected on this run the Canucks have had and this is the biggest threat they have faced yet. 60 minutes. One game. Winner take all. For all the previous opponents, I have taken time out of my busy day (which consists of staring at the wall, drinking and waiting for hockey to start) to slander the opposing team and players with potential lies and petty comments. I foolishly believe that perhaps the other teams have read those posts and I have gotten in their heads long enough for the 'Nucks to vanquish them. That, or they just aren't as good a hockey team as us. Whichever, I don't care so long as the Canucks win.
I had not done that for the Bruins. I was gonna take the high road. They, with their 19-8 outscoring us bullshit have forced my hand.
Tim ThomasHe is a goddamn mutant. That is the only explanation for his crazy goaltending. Fuck this guy.
Milan LucicClaims to be from BC. Prove it, take a dive! This is bigger than just you!
Zdeno "Zangief" CharaHe is actually 3 midgets standing on each others shoulders.
Johnny "Bane" BoychukYou break Mason Raymond's back, we break your face. That is Canuck law. Can't fight it.
Rich PeverlyYour eyes are too close together Rich Peverly. Get that shit fixed you 1 goggle wearing freak.
Brad MarchandHe is 80% nose. They tried to make a movie about him. Here is the poster:
Dennis SeidenbergHe is actually Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis in whiteface.
Michael RyderIs alergic to being awesome. Good thing he isn't awesome. I don't want him to die.
Mark "Jurassic" Recchi
Mark Recchi is so old he called in a favor from Jesus to get to game 7 (he used to buy Jesus booze cause he was too young)
Patrice BergeronI thought Patrice was the most feminine name I have ever heard...until I discovered his middle name is "Ihaveavaginagilmoregirlsisamazing"
Tyler SeguinHas no reason to look this smarmy. Look at that smarm! Fuck this guy. Idiot.
In closing, Boston Bruins. You may "want" the Cup. But wants are chilidish desires. The Vancouver Canucks NEED the Cup.
Thanks for ReadingGO CANUCKS GO