j.Bowman Can't Sleep: A Series of Haikus: Goldeneye 64

Anyone who knows me or has ever recieved a facebook message from me knows that I dig haikus. Big time. They and their rigid 5-7-5 structure consistently keep me on my toes and force me to express deep, powerful emotions in 17 syllables. I'm bored, so I'm gonna keep myself occupied by writing about something that I loved at one point in my life using a series of pointless, silly and heavily influenced by lack of sleep Haiku poems. But first, some background.

What is Goldeneye 64?

If you just asked that question to yourself.....get out.

Goldeneye 64 was a video game....based on the James Bond film Goldeneye....for the Nintendo 64. That's basically it. It was a landmark game when it came out. Single player missions were dope, but the real gem here was the multiplayer. 4 player deathmatches that dominated basements and bedrooms in the late 90s on a consistent and bordeline intrusive basis.

I remember when I played for the first time. I was on a team with a dude who played it way too much. I will admit to being a slight liability for our team. I was a n00b, what do you expect? So my partner comes running up to me (in game. We were sitting next to each other in reality) and he tells me to follow him. I do, thinking we are going on some epic bulletstorm to victory. Nope. He leads me to a small room in the level and tells me to "Stay here, and don't do anything".

I shot him. Right in his fucking face. Immediately. He had barely put the period on his sentence and bam! Dead. That was the first time I played what would end up being the definitive game of the late 90s. And now, without further delay or tale of my treachery, an onslaught of Haikus, written at 6 am. There is definitely a specific audience for this post, so if you aren't in that demographic, my apologies. If you are, hopefully this brings back some memories.

"Big head" code was shit.
"Unlimited Ammo"? Great
Why play with no cheats?